CHIMPS ARE APES, NOT MONKEYS

Why is it that when you find a really cool monkey mask in an art museum gift shop and use your cell phone to take a picture of yourself wearing it, your girlfriend runs away? That is nothing to be ashamed of! Seriously.

I was just thinking how cool and innovative it would be to write a fictional blog, like a fake diary in some interesting setting. Then I realized that wasn’t particularly cool or innovative, and a quick googling confirmed it. I think mine was going to be about an interstellar bioprospector in some post-diasporic far-flung future, involving lots of fake biology and naturalism. I could have really dug scifi’s hole a lot deeper, I think. Actually, it might be kind of cool if there were some well-doctored photographs.

I am in the process of buying a used car. This is a terrifying thing. It costs a lot of money. Insurance costs a lot of money. Cars tend to crash and burn. Or get stolen. Or fall apart. OR make strange noises. On the other hand, no more stupid 2.5 hour three-train ride down to Stanford. And I can drive around to catch snakes. Or watch birds. Or go to Target.

Speaking of Target, can someone please explain to me the connotations of the word “middle-brow”? I fear that it means something that average people think is quite smart, but is in fact incredibly dumb. I fear it because that sounds like my taste in just about everything.