FISH HEAD!

Some things to keep in mind when attempting to roast your first whole fish:

• Keeps it simple, stupid! Do not poke holes in your poor, beleaguered little fish and shove garlic in there, unless you like the taste of raw garlic or something. Fish cooks faster than garlic. Uncooked garlic bad.
• Whole fish have bones. Like, a lot. Thus, your fish better taste good enough to justify a riddling worthy of St. Sebastian.
• Do not assume that your friendly neighborhood fishmonger is, in fact, friendly. Sure, you saw her scale the fish, but remember that you also saw her get pissed off as you said you wanted the fish “by the sign”, prodding the glass insistently, indicating the general location of many fish, marked by not one, but two signs. Scales inedible. Ergo, scales bad.
• Understand that in order to determine if your fish is done cooking, you must destroy it. Let us call this Uedaberg’s Uncertainty Principle. This shouldn’t bother you muchly, though, since your fish will probably look hideous at this stage anyway.
• Fish carcasses are fun to play with.