“you know, i wish they sold endorphins in pill form. wouldn’t that be great? they should put a whole bunch of monkeys in a factory and hook them up with tubes going directly to their brains and then keep on getting them excited and draining the adrenaline from their brains. then it could be concentrated and put into pill form.”

“dirt is not dirty, because to be dirty, an object must have dirt on it, and any dirt that happens to be on more dirt is just part of the whole mass of dirt, thereby making dirt not dirty.”

“i would pay any amount of money for invisible paint. it’d be so cool. you could sneak into anywhere and learn the world’s secrets. or if you were going to assasinate someone, you could just paint yourself invisible and no one would know it was you. no, wait, even better: you could paint the gun invisible, that way it would just sort of look like you were pointing at the person. of course, you wouldn’t be able to paint the inside of the barrel, so the person would only see you pointing and the inside of the barrel.”

mickey addendum: “Even better, you should paint the bullet invisible too. That way they wouldn’t be able to find the bullet for, making the cause of death even more nebulous.”